How do we fall in Love?

We get often attracted to the opposite sex. What is behind a relationship between a man and woman? what is the reason we find somebody totally irresistible and often fantasize about that person in a sexually inclined manner? Why do we want to spend time with them?

Science of love will answer these questions. Following are the two main theories that govern the science of love, attraction or attachment.

Evolutionary Need

Evolutionary need can be the central factor that attracts the potential mate to a creature in the nature, including humans. As the evolution theory goes, if a creature mates with a weaker mate, the off-springs are also weak and may not be able to survive against this harsh nature.

This might at some point of time lead to the total extinction of the species from earth. To avoid this, it is natural that we try to attract and get attracted to a stronger, healthier and attractive mate so that there is no problem in the continuity of our heritage.

The Role of Hormones

Hormones are a form of chemical compounds in our body which is released at various stages of life and times as per need. The role that they play in influencing our minds and bodies to get attracted to somebody is also pivotal. A famous study defines the first stage of love to be lust, the second as Attraction and third as Attachment. These various stages are influenced by different hormones in our body.

Stage I – Lust

This is the first stage of love, in which we try to get a desirable being of opposite sex and satiate our carnal desires.

This stage is mostly related with the sexual fantasies that a human being carries in his/her mind. The sex hormone that influence or cause this stage is testosterone and oestrogen in both males and females.

Stage II – Attraction

This is the most beautiful stage when one is said to have “fallen in love”. The person’s thoughts are all about his/her lover and cannot think of anything else but his/her lover. The hormones that play their role for such an emotional state are the following

Dopamine: Dopamine is a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter. When this hormone is triggered, the individual experience pleasure which is like the feeling when you take specific drugs. This brings in a wave of pleasant feelings, additional energy and focus. The need for sleep and taking rest is felt to go down.

Adrenaline: The process of falling for some body is characterized by a rush of adrenaline in your blood. This affects your response to stress, increased heart beat and dryness of mouth- indicators of initiation of love.

Stage III – Attachment

This is considered to the last stage of love and very much needed for a successful relationship. Scientists believe that there are two hormones which have a role to invoke this feeling – Oxytocin and Vasopressin.

So, falling in love with the potential partner is initiated by the evolutionary need but then controlled by many hormones which together get us become attached to our loved ones.

-Jayanthan

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